At She Leads India in Gurgaon, Sandhya Mridul, actor and author, sat down for a fireside chat with Shaili Chopra, founder of SheThePeople and Gytree, and instantly changed the energy in the room. For years, audiences have known her as the woman behind some of screen’s most fierce and unforgettable characters. But this time, the spotlight was not on a role. It was on Sandhya herself, raw, funny and deeply honest about the journey that has brought her to this chapter of life.
The Strange, Honest Comfort Of Starting Again
When asked about where she finds herself today, Sandhya answered with the kind of honesty only lived experience can bring.
“It’s a very uncomfortably comfortable space because it means you’re starting again and you’re letting go of a lot of stuff that you held on to so comfortably,” Sandhya expressed.
It is such a relatable way to describe midlife. So many women reach a point where the life they have carefully built still looks right from the outside, but something inside begins to shift. The roles that once fit perfectly start feeling too tight. The habits, expectations, and even the people pleasing that once felt safe begin to feel exhausting.
Sandhya spoke about how much of this comes from conditioning. The things women are taught from the beginning about who they should be, how they should behave, and what makes them ‘good.’ She said, “You want to let go of what was expected of you. You want to let go of what was taught to you.”
The Freedom Of No Longer Needing Approval
Sandhya openly admitted that there was a time when being liked mattered. Approval and Validation mattered.
I am okay being judged. I am okay being disliked. -Sandhya Mridul
She connected that freedom to the different phases women move through in life and how age slowly teaches you to stop living by other people’s timelines.
Speaking about motherhood, Sandhya pointed out how women’s choices around their own bodies are still so easily judged. In her exact words, “There are a lot of people choosing not to have kids. I did. I was one of the first ones and I was given a lot of grief for that. Today I joke with them and say I dodged that bullet.”
What made it so powerful was how naturally it opened up a larger conversation around bodily autonomy and the quiet shame women are often made to carry for choices that are entirely their own.
Whether it is the decision to have children, not have children, have them later, or define family differently, women are still too often made to justify deeply personal choices.
Talking About Perimenopause
Sandhya spoke openly about perimenopause and menopause, without trying to soften the reality of it. “Every day there is a new pain, every day there is a new discomfort, and nobody else can get it because you are not getting it.”
So many women enter this phase often without even realising what is happening to them. That is why her advice felt so important. “If anybody tells you you are going mad, go to a doctor and figure it out.”
Refusing To Edit Her Body For The World
She shared that she was once told very directly “If you don’t get a boob job, you will not be here anymore.” Her response though was a mic drop. “I’m not changing my body or my nose for you.”
There was something so refreshing about the way she spoke about this with humour, even joking later about how people find her nose cute when it accidentally dips into an ice cream cone.
But underneath the laughter was something deeply important. Women are constantly told they need fixing. “Fix your body. Fix your face. Fix the parts of you that make you unique.”
Sandhya’s refusal felt like a larger lesson for every woman. Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stay exactly as you are.
Your 20s Are For Creating. Your 40s Are For Returning
One of the loveliest ideas Sandhya shared was her distinction between invention and reinvention. “Your 20s are about invention to begin with. You are creating yourself.”
Your 20s are often about building. Career, image, ambition, relationships, identity. But later, the work changes. Now it becomes about shedding. Shedding old expectations, inherited roles and the need to keep performing versions of yourself that no longer fit.
Reinventing means shedding those inherited roles. -Sandhya Mridul.
What Really Matters Changes
Towards the end, Sandhya said something so simple, yet so moving. “The only gift you want to receive is great company. Be true to who you are and redefine your definition of success.”
And honestly, isn’t that the truth? There comes a point where the flowers, the gifts, the flattery, the noise of being admired all begin to matter less.
What stays precious is presence. The friend who shows up. The person who sits with you when you are low. For so many women, this is what reinvention really looks like. Not bigger things, but truer things.
